Stop Comparing Potty Training: 5 Tips to Help Your Child Succeed
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt said that more than a hundred years ago, and it’s still true today. So what does that have to do with with toilet training? Everything! Sit down, grab a cup of coffee, and let’s talk about why you should NEVER compare potty training with friends.
In This Article
- Why We Compare Potty Training With Friends
- Warning! Comparing Could Slow Your Child’s Progress
- How to Not Compare (And Feel Better Than Ever)
- My 5 Best Potty Training Tips
Why We Compare Potty Training With Friends
If comparing our child’s progress only gives us a headache, why do we do it?
There are a few reasons, actually.
#1: It’s Human Nature
Human beings are born to compare, like it or not. People are social creatures. We learn a lot that way. Unfortunately, comparisons can also get us down…way down. Because if our little one is much slower on potty training, or if they are having accidents while our friend’s little one is squeaky-clean, we may feel like we’re somehow “failing.”
#2: It’s An Instagram World
Now more than ever, we compare, compare, compare. And those comparisons, visible to the entire world on social media, have become really important…or at least we think they have.
#3: Sometimes, We Just Feel Insecure
And that doesn’t just mean first-time parents. I have had so many clients tell me, “Violet, it’s ridiculous. This is my second (or third) child. But I feel like I’m starting all over with potty training. How could my first two have been such a breeze but my third just won’t go on her potty?” Trust me…it can happen!
Warning! Comparing Could Slow Your Child’s Progress
There’s a hidden danger in constantly comparing your child’s potty training progress with your friend’s child, or a family member’s child.
It could actually slow down your little one’s progress.
It’s true. Deep down, you’re putting a sense of urgency in there. You may think you’re hiding it, but your anxiety is probably creeping through. And your child senses it. That could put anxiety into their mind as well, because they sense you’r uncomfortable.
Potty training should be a positive experience. When you compare potty training with friends, you’re probably not hiding it from your little one, so keep that in mind.
How to Not Compare (And Feel Better Than Ever)
Remember that your child is an individual.
This probably goes without saying. But really think about it.
Your little one probably didn’t sit up, smile, or sleep through the night at exactly the same time your friend’s baby did. So why should they potty train at exactly the same time?
My 5 Best Potty Training Tips
My 5 Best Potty Training Tips
Now that we’ve thrown comparison out the window, let’s focus on what actually helps:
1. Watch for Readiness, Not Age
Forget the calendar. Look for signs like staying dry for longer stretches, showing interest in the bathroom, or hiding to poop. These cues are far more reliable than age alone.
2. Make It Positive and Pressure-Free
Celebrate effort, not perfection. Stickers, high-fives, or even just a silly dance can go a long way. And remember—accidents are part of the process, not signs of failure.
3. Keep It Short and Sweet
Potty sits should be short (think 2–5 minutes) and never forced. If nothing happens, no big deal. Praise them for trying and move on.
4. Be Consistent… But Flexible
Routine is helpful, but life happens. Traveling? Sick days? Regression after a new sibling? Totally normal. Stick to your plan when you can—but give yourself grace when things don’t go perfectly.
5. Trust Your Gut
You know your child better than anyone. If something feels off—or if you feel stuck—it’s okay to ask for help. That’s why I created the IPSP Potty Training Certification… to train professionals who support parents through this exact phase.
Bottom Line?
Your child’s potty journey doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. It just needs to work for them—and for you.
So the next time your friend says, “Oh wow, my daughter was trained by 20 months!” you can smile and say, “That’s great for her!”—while fully trusting the timeline you’re on.
Comparison may be the thief of joy—but confidence?
Confidence is the path to progress.
🩷 Want more support? Download our Free Potty Training Rescue Guide or check out our evidence-based Potty Training Certification program if you’re a professional who wants to learn how to do this right—from day one.
You’ve got this.
